I met him in Texas, on a cheap return trip
A strange little creature, an eye on each lip.
Said he'd crash landed and fled for his life,
Then he followed me home to the kids and the wife.
The kids thought him perfect, I'd bought them a pet.
They said "Can we play now?", I said "no not yet".
"First I must show him how we do things 'round here".
Then he sat down beside me and I gave him a beer.
The wife didn't like him, her feelings were plain.
She told me to ditch him, I said "You're insane".
I promised by morning I'd work things out right
Then she edged up beside me and kissed me goodnight.
While the whole house was sleeping, we tiptoed outside
For a taste of the nightlife down on the east side.
I called for a taxi to take us to dance
The driver took one look, said "Sorry, no chance."
By the time we got down there, 'twas nearing midnight.
A woman approached us and asked for a light.
She asked for some business, I thought "Here's my chance,
To escape from the beastie" - she said "Cash in advance".
I emptied my pockets and offered the lot
She cried "Are you kidding, is that all you've got?"
How much is your pet worth, she smiled as she said
"A fortune" I grinned, as she led me to bed.
I woke as the sun rose, and looked to the floor
There he was sleeping, so I made for the door.
I was gone in an instant and running for home.
And to this day I'm sure that she still has the gnome.
© 1989 Kevin Boatman - all rights reserved.
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